


Match Made on the Hellmouth

by Assthorn



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: BDSM, Because of Where the Wild Things are, Canon Typical Violence, Claiming Bites, Dom Buffy, Dubious Consent, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Psychology assignment, Riley hits on Buffy, Sex Pollen, Sub Spike, and the Claim, but not really, mild and short lived Buffy/Riley, season 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-21 10:28:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30020394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assthorn/pseuds/Assthorn
Summary: On the first day of psych class, Buffy is assigned to be nice to someone she hates. Who will she choose? Spike. Definitely Spike.Will update every day until finished
Relationships: Spike/Buffy Summers
Comments: 14
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Challenge response to Eulah15's challenge "Maggie Walsh: Evil Bitch Monster of Death or Accidental Matchmaker?":
> 
> Dr. Walsh assigns them a project they'll have to work on for the duration of the semester that requires them to pick a subject (a person) they don't get along with and see if they can change the persons perspective of them simply by "killing them with kindness". They have to resist the urge to be rude to this "subject" for the whole of semester although the professor doesn't want them to become doormats. Each student must keep a diary (for privacy's sake the subject must be kept anonymous and must not know that they are unwittingly part of an experiment) of reactions and must note if they are succeeding or failing at the task. The journal must be handed in at the end of the semester and will make up a huge percentage of her grade.
> 
> \--
> 
> Journal entries include episode titles for those of you who will find it helpful. I know not everyone has every title memorized, but I thought this would be better than rehashing a bunch of canon that I don't want to change.

“…and those of you who don’t will come to know me by the name my TAs use and think I don’t know about, the Evil Bitch Monster of Death. Make no mistake, I run a hard class, I assign a lot of work, I talk fast and I expect you to keep up. If you’re looking to coast I recommend “Geology 101,” that’s where the football players are.”

Buffy looked down at her notebook, which was empty except for a doodle of a Mr. Pointy.

“Now your first, and most important assignment is to keep a journal, but not just any journal. This is going be an experiment. You and one other person will be the subject. Your subject will be someone you don’t like, or who annoys you. Your assignment is to be nice to that person and record how your perspective on that person changes. I’m not saying you should become a doormat—don’t just roll over and allow this person to abuse or take advantage of you. Rather, kill them with kindness and record the results. You will hand your journal in at the end of the semester and it will make up 40% of your grade.” Professor Walsh continued.

Buffy had stopped tapping her pen and was staring at the professor. How was she supposed to narrow it down to just one?

“… refer to this person as your “subject,” or give them a code name. Try to avoid providing a lot of identifying information. You may not like this person, but they are entitled to their privacy. Try not to let your subject know what you’re doing, and try not to be obvious about it. Your mortal enemy will likely think something is up if you start baking them cookies and picking up their drycleaning…”

Buffy snorted, a sudden image of picking up Spike’s precious duster from the local Quick & Clean.

Professor Walsh continued to talk about expectations, exams, and readings. Buffy’s eyes wandered to the TA she almost killed earlier that day. He was kinda cute, in that kinda dopey way. Like Xander but more mature. Also pretty built. Buffy only half paid attention to the rest of the class, and when it was over she collected her things and headed out with Willow

“Who are you going to pick? For the journal?” The redhead asked with an enthusiasm only she could have for homework.

“I dunno. Maybe my roommate? She snores. That’s pretty annoying, right?”

Willow nodded eagerly. “My roommate is a little annoying too-”

“I thought for a second about using Spike,” Buffy snorted, her expression screaming “as if!”

“That’s an interesting idea-”

“Oz, who are you gonna pick?”

Oz shrugged.

“-because he’s big with the annoying, and it would be cool to see what he’d do if we were nice to him…”

“Hold up with the Spike love, Will. He’s not even in town, and if he was he’d be happy to eat you, whether you were nice to him or not.”

“He’s not allowed to eat you.” Oz said before going back to staring off into space.

“Awwe, babe,” Willow squeed and squeezed Oz’s hand.

“Plus next time he shows his fangy face around here I’m gonna kill him.”

“Sure. Uh huh,” Willow said, no longer paying attention to Buffy.

_Entry #1 (The Freshman)_

_I’m going to pick my roommate. She’s sooooo annoying with the music and the lip smacking. I think I found one of her toenails on my bed, too. Ewww._

_Entry #2 (Living Conditions)_

_Well, roommate went home, so I guess she’s out. Now what?_

_Entry #3_

_I never thought I’d be so annoyed at not being annoyed. Well, look on the bright side. Maybe I’ll get killed before the end of the semester. Oooh, or maybe the campus will explode!_

_Entry #4 (Harsh Light of Day)_

_Harmony! Harmony is back! I can totally do her… er, use her… study her? She was almost as annoying as Cordelia, but even as a_ ~~_vamp_ ~~ _adult, she’s harmless. Well, I guess not totally harmless, but I can handle her._

_Entry #5_

_Spike’s here. With Harmony, somehow? I mean, Drusilla was a crazy hoebag, but I still thought he had better taste than that._

_Spike is pretty obnoxious, and Willow was talking about using him as her subject since she doesn’t live with her old roommate anymore. If Ms. Brainy-Pants thinks it’s a good idea then maybe it is. Professor Walsh never said we each had to have our own person, subject, whatever. The only issue with that brilliant plan is he’s a_ ~~_psycho killer_ ~~ _bad guy. Very bad guy. How can you be nice to someone like that? I can take him, most of the time, but Willow sure can’t._

_On the other hand, he might be less suspicious if both of us start being nicer to him. Either that or twice as suspicious. I mean, Willow, sure, she’s nice to everyone so why not him. But me? Plus I would actually have to spend time with him to be nice to him, and I don’t want to. Spend time with him, that is. Don’t want to be nice to him, either, but also don’t want to fail psych._

_I guess I could use Parker. But then I’d have to see his stupid face. And then I would punch his face. Or cry. Or something equally stupid. Stupid Parker and his stupid face. Why does he have to put his stupid face all over every stupid bimbo on campus? Wait, does this make me a stupid Bimbo? Also, this isn’t supposed to be a personal diary, oops._

_Entry #6 (After Gem of Amara fight)_

_I am going to_ ~~_kill_ ~~ _kick out Spike. I don’t care if I fail Psych. Willow will understand if her subject is with the gone. At least I got his stupid ring off of him._

_I get that we’re mortal enemies and all, but does he have to be so mean? How am I supposed to be nice to someone who says stuff like that about me? He was right, though. Spike always seems to be right about these things._

_Entry #7 (Fear itself)_

_Why did the TA care about my Halloween plans? Weird._

_Entry #8 (Beer Bad)_

_I’m never drinking again. Also, can my subject just be all men?_

_Entry #9 (Wild at Heart)_

_All men, especially Oz? I guess it’s nice to know I’m not the only hobag around here, but his poop-headedness is almost equal to Parker’s. I know Oz had his reasons, but I’m fed up with men leaving, especially when it’s for “our own good.” Maybe they should consult the person they’re leaving first. Ever think of that? No, of course not. Because men suck._

_Entry #10 (The Initiative)_

_Hahahahahaha. Spike… Spike can’t bite! Ahaha. What’s he going to do now? He’s not even dangerous anymore. Guess I can afford to be nice to him. Guess that means I shouldn’t laugh at him. When he can hear me. Anymore. Ha. I have some catching up to do- even when Willow thought Spike was going to_ ~~_kill_ ~~ _hurt her, she was still nice to him._

“Invite me in!” Spike begged.

“No.” Buffy said.

“Very unlikely,” Giles quipped with a very British (i.e.: nearly undetectable) smirk.

Spike, smoking and burning despite the blanket, lunged for the door but was, of course, repelled. “Damn it! Look, I’m safe. I can’t bite anyone. Willow, tell them what I did?”

“I know what you did,” Buffy said. “You tried to kill her.”

“Yes, bad, but what about the part where I couldn’t bite her?”

“It’s true,” Willow agreed. “He had trouble… performing. Maybe we should let him in?”

“So he hasn’t murdered anyone lately? Let’s be best pals!” Buffy said sarcastically, wondering why Willow would even suggest letting him in- oh, right, being nice.

“I’ve got information! About those soldier boys you were fighting. I’ve got the inside scoop. Come on! What’ve you got to be afraid of?”

Buffy rolled her eyes and looked at Giles. In fact, everyone was looking at Giles. “Very well,” he sighed. “Come in, Spike. But if you so much as look at me wrong I will stake you myself.”

“Not if I stake him first,” Buffy muttered as Spike fell through the doorway. “Spike, go mash the potatoes.”

“What?”

“The po-ta-toes,” Buffy said slowly, “They’re still lumpy, go make them un-lumpy. You _can_ hit potatoes, right?”

He stared at her for a moment, then shuffled off to the kitchen like beaten dog that he was.

***

“Hey, watch the heart!” Spike dove behind the couch with Giles and Buffy.

The phone rang and while Giles answered Spike yanked the arrow out of his shoulder with a grunt and Buffy glanced over at him with… was that sympathy? before questioning Giles.

“It was… someone. We need a plan.”

“Yes, let’s talk about it some more,” Spike growled, holding his hand to his wound. His growl turned from pain and anger to hunger and pain and anger when Buffy caught an arrow in her arm and the smell of her blood his the air. Damn, he needed to eat. And judging by the number of arrows flying around and the fact that both he and Buffy were injured, he knew they needed help.

As if on que one of the warriors disappeared from the window and Spike could hear the sounds of a struggle outside. Meanwhile, another warrior jumped inside and started fighting Buffy. Spike found himself at her side, leaving Giles to fend for himself.

Forgetting mometarily about his newly acquired handicap, Spike threw a punch at the warrior and… it didn’t hurt? He let out a whoop and Spike and worked in tandem with Buffy, taking turns throwing punches that were weaker than they should have been due to their injuries and in Spike’s case, starvation. It quickly became apparent that their efforts were completely in vain.

“They don’t die!” Buffy cried, clutching a bloody wound on her arm that nearly caused Spike to turn and attack her instead. A second warrior lunged towards them and Spike kicked it hard in the chest, sending it backwards. As Spike was about to glance away his gaze settled on his grandsire, just standing around and watching like the bloody ponce that he was. A warrior popped up behind Angel and Spike spared a second to smirk, before turning his attention back to the fight at hand just as Buffy discovered the warriors’ own weapons could hurt them.

And that they could turn into bears.

“A bear?! You made a bear!” Suddenly running away seemed like a very good idea, but there was no clear exit in all the chaos and though he was weak and starving, Spike was still Spike and couldn’t help but enjoy the brawl. He just wasn’t all that eager to brawl with a bear, that’s all.

“I didn’t mean to,” Buffy said, as if that would help.

“Undo it! Undo it!” Spike backed up, but stepped forward again. It wouldn’t do to let the Slayer know he was afraid of bears. Angry vengeful spirit bears, anyway. It might be fun to try fighting a normal bear sometime. Spike tucked that idea to the back of him mind to remember next time he went up north.

Buffy dove into the fight with the bear and Spike joined her, guarding her left side and tag teaming the enraged animal.

Then the Welp started throwing potatoes at it.

Spike was about to tell him off, but the potatoes worked to distract the bear, leaving an opening for Buffy to stab it with the stone knife. The warriors disappeared and everyone slowly came inside. Everyone except Angel of course.

They stood around for a few minutes until Buffy remembered the turkey and dashed into the kitchen in a burst of speed that would have been a lot more useful a few minutes ago. She started barking orders and not knowing what else to do, the Scoobies did as they were told.

Spike found the brandy and the gravy and started alternately slurping them down, for all the good it did him. The wheels in his head were turning- maybe the pain when he tried to hurt someone had just been temporary? He would have to test it out later. Wouldn’t do to let Buffy and the slayerettes know he wasn’t crippled after all.

Soon the table was set and the Scoobies sat down to eat.

“An entire siege,” Spike muttered. “You’d think one of you would bleed a little.”

Everyone stared at him. Buffy’s eyes flicked down to the makeshift bandage covering her arm and she couldn’t help the guilty expression that flashed across her face.

“Come here, Spike, there might be some blood from the turkey in the pan,” Buffy stood, laying her napkin on the table.

Spike had already scoured the disaster of the kitchen searching for a few drops of turkey blood, but he followed her anyway. Good dog, and all.

Buffy lead him to a corner of the kitchen not visible from the pass-through to the dining room, then turned to face him and pulled the bandage off her arm.

“What’re you doing?”

“I bled a little,” She shrugged, taking off the bandage and rolling up her right sleeve to expose the wound that had not yet been cleaned properly and was still smeared with blood. “No biting. Or sucking.” She wrinkled her nose and turned her head away.

Spike stared at her for a moment, then just about fell over himself to get to her. He cradled her arm between his hands and lowered his face, gently lapping at the blood stuck to her skin. He tenderly cleaned the area around the cut, and with the utmost care ran his tongue over the wound itself.

Buffy breathed in sharply- not from pain, obviously, though she told herself that it was. She would never admit that it felt kind of nice. Good, even. Something about his touch soothed the pain and she couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed when he pulled away.

His face looked slightly less sunken than before, despite the few drops of potent blood he had collected. Spike carefully replaced her arm at her side. Buffy’s fingers moved, almost on their own accord, to draw up the sleeve on her left arm where the arrow had punctured her. Spike looked in her eyes, then took the offering. This time Buffy closed her eyes while Spikes mouth lingered on her, tongue lapping at the small wound. He drew away for a moment but only to turn her arm over to sooth the exit wound as well. He returned her arm and waited for Buffy to open her eyes.

“Thank you,” he said with a sincerity that was as honest as it was unexpected.

“Uuuuuh welcome,” Buffy mumbled, staring at him from under her eyelashes. What had just happened?

Spike straighten up and made a bit show of huffily returning to the dining room, loudly complaining about how Buffy was a fang tease and there was no turkey blood, why would she get a man’s hopes up just to leave him hungrier than before?

Buffy smiled to herself, and didn’t miss the fact that he stuck to the shadows so his eyes, now decidedly less blood shot and his cheeks a little less hollow, would not be noticed. She left the kitchen slowly, rejoining the group just in time to hear Xander talking about how Angel had been there.


	2. Chapter 2

_Entry #11 (Something Blue)_

_A picnic sounds like a good idea in theory, but there are bugs and wind blowing everything around awkward TAs trying and failing to be interesting._

_Entry #12_

_Spike is soooooo handsome and strong and sweet. He was so nervous when he asked, but of course I said yes!_ _I can’t believe I waited this long to find out what his tongue can do! That preview on Thanksgiving was nothing compared to this. This experiment is really great, I never realized how much I loved him until I finally gave him a chance. I’m so happy I could die!_

_Entry #13_

_I’m so disgusted I could die. Willow_ ~~_cast a spell_ ~~ _got us all drunk and I was all in love with Spike. Ugh. And you know what the worst part was? Now that I’ve seen how much of a hottie Spike is I can’t unsee it. No, actually, the worst part is I can’t unfeel what it was like to kiss him and ugh I think I’m gonna barf. I need to start dating again because clearly I need some kind of outlet if I liked kissing Spike._

_Also? Angel is way older than Spike so he had way longer to practice, right? So why was Spike better at it?!_

_Entry #14_

_I just had a wiggy thought. Willow told us to get married, but she never said anything about being in love or kissing or whatever. We could have been one of those bitter couples who don’t actually like each other but got married anyway, you know, like Xander’s parents? So why were we all ga-ga over each other? Xander wasn’t getting all jiggy with those demons, even though that’s what Willow was talking about when she said he was a demon magnet._

_I just wish I could stop thinking about it. This whole being nice to him thing must be messing with my head._

_Entry #15 (Hush)_

_Had a kissing dream about Riley. Weird thing was he didn’t seem to want to? Like, he did it because Prof Walsh told him to be a “good boy.” How creepy is that? Had a kissing dream about Spike, too, which was way more fun. Gross._

_Giles kicked Spike out of his place and told Xander it was his turn. Willow told me she thought we should take Spike but keeping him in our dorm on a women only floor would be a problem. Plus, ew. It’s bad enough I keep thinking about him and his stupid lips. I don’t wanna see them and hear what they have to say. I also don’t have enough space to keep blood in my fridge._

_Entry #16_

_So Riley is a commando guy. Huh. Also, awkward kiss much? At least now Spike isn’t the last person to have kissed me. I’m going to have to burn like, half of this journal before I hand it in. Oops._

_Entry #17 (Doomed/A New man)_

_That didn’t last long- Spike and Xander, that is. Now that Spike can punch stuff he left and seems to be feeling better. Oh, and looks like I don’t have to burn the journal after all since Walsh is in on it all. Should probably still take out the parts about Riley and his attempts at courtship. I mean, it’s nice to have the attention, I guess. He seemed so normal, and part of me wants that. But if normal kisses like he can’t wait to be not doing it anymore then I think it’s over rated. Plus he’s so fragile I’d be afraid of breaking him by accident._

_Is it bad that I’m comparing Riley to Spike? And that in some ways I like Spike better? Spike did help Giles and even though he got paid, that’s not something he would have done before. Spike is also stronger and more of a challenge. He’s also a soulless creep. But a good kisser. Gross. Why can’t I like normal guys? Or at least, human guys?_

_Entry #18 (The I in Team)_

_So, if your professor tries to kill you do you still have to hand in your homework?_

“It’s not safe for any of us.”

Spike jumped to his feet and Buffy had the urge to block him from leaving. “Wait, why are you here?” She asked him.

“Commandos put a tracker on me. Watcher got it out.”

“Oh,” Buffy stared at him for a moment too long, admiring- no, noticing- the curve of his biceps, which were normally hidden by his leather duster. “Anyway, Walsh tried to kill me. Guess we have something in common with her now,” the corner of Buffy’s mouth quirked up, and Spike’s jumped to match.

“You’re saying that Maggie Walsh set you up?” Giles asked, a note of disbelief in his voice.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. She sent me on a one-way recon.”

“Gotta hand it to you, Goldilocks, you have bloody tragic taste in men.” Spike said.

 _You have no idea,_ Buffy thought, carefully not looking at Spike, “What does my taste in men have to do with this?”

“Wasn’t it that soldier boy who brought you into this? Maybe his feelings got hurt when you turned him down.”

“So he asked Walsh to murder me?” Buffy scoffed, rolling her eyes. “This may come as a surprise to you Spike, but normal humans don’t go around killing everyone they don’t like.”

“No, but these tin soldiers are hardly normal, are they?”

“I hate to say it, but Spike may have a point. We would be remiss if we didn’t consider all the possibilities.” Giles said reluctantly while polishing his glasses.

“All I know is that Maggie has it in for me which means the Initiative has it in for me.”

Spike snorted at Buffy turned to him, eyebrow raised. “Took you bloody long enough. Told you they were trouble, didn’t I?”

“Trouble for demons usually does not also mean trouble for the Slayer,” Giles said dryly.

“Fine,” Spike rolled his eyes. “So what’s the plan then?”

“Everybody grab a weapon. We’ve gotta move. Also, since when do you want in on our plans?” Buffy said, moving efficiently through Giles’ apartment, collecting and handing out weapons.

“The enemy of my enemy and all that rot.”

“A person can have more than one enemy,” Buffy passed by Spike, clearing intending to leave him without one of the many weapons she was distributing.

Spike grabbed her arm and used his other hand to carefully peel her fingers off of the handle of an axe.

“What’re planning to do with that? Chop some trees to death?” Xander snarked. “The commandos are human.”

“Who knows what nasties they have under their control.”

Buffy stared at her empty hand frowning and trying to will away the tinglies that lingered behind Spike’s touch.

“He can have a weapon,” Buffy snatched the axe back. “But not this one. I like it.”

“All right,” Spike said, spinning the dagger that Willow handed him. “Time to storm the castle then?”

“No. Time to hide while we come up with a better plan.”

“Hide? I can do that on my own.”

“Please do.” Giles gestured half-heartedly at the door.

Xander cleared his throat. “Sleepover party in my basement?”

“Oooh, mirror ball!” Willow said, sounding a little more excited at the prospect than the current life or death situation might warrant.

“Absolutely not! I will not squat in that dank hole!” Giles exclaimed.

“What, it was good enough for me, but you’re above it all?”

“Precisely. Besides, I don’t see why we can’t stay right where we are. It’s very unlikely that those Initiative boys are going to come round here to look for-”

The door flew open and everyone turned as one, weapons raised.

“Buffy! God, Buffy, are you ok?”

“Told you he wasn’t involved,” Buffy glared at Spike, who shrugged. She turned to Riley. “No, I am not okay. Maggie tried to kill me.”

“It didn’t work, but they’re all upset anyway,” said Anya. “Well, except Spike ‘cause he wants Buffy dead but can’t do it himself because-”

“Anya!” Spike hissed, then looked over at Riley with his best innocent face.

“That’s Hostile 17!”

“His name is Spike, he’s not bad anymore-” Buffy tried to explain but was cut off by Spike’s indignant “Oi!”

“What is he doing here?” Riley demanded tersely.

“He just… look, is that really what’s important right now? Are we forgetting your boss tried to have me killed?”

“Yes, I think it’s pretty important to know why you’re harbouring an HST. You do know he’s a vampire, right?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Of course I know, I’m not stupid. But your guys chipped him and he can’t hurt anyone so he’s been… hanging around?” She didn’t mean for that last bit to sound like a question. Should she tell Riley that Spike is her subject? Or was? “Hey, since Maggie tried to kill me do I still have to do her homework?”

Riley just stared.

“It’s a valid question,” Anya piped up.

“I need to go.” Riley said softly, backing out of the door, then turning to leave.

Giles sighed heavily, returning his glasses to his nose. “Let’s be off to Xander’s, shall we?”

_Entry #19 [Goodbye Iowa]_

_I guess I don’t need to keep a journal anymore now that Walsh is dead. Does that mean I don’t get credit for this class? Cuz that’s not fair. It’s not my fault she was evil and got killed by her freaky Frankenstein monster thingie._

_Entry #20 [This Year’s Girl]_

_What did Faith say to Spike when she was in my body?!? He keeps looking at me weird. He does know that wasn’t me, right?_

_Entry #21 (Superstar)_

_Ok, this is getting really, really not ok. Even when I thought Jonathan was like, Wonder Boy Supreme, I still thought Spike was kinda cute. Oh, and I do have to keep this stupid journal. Riley is taking over for Maggie. I should really just start over. I’m going to have to go through and cross out a ton of this anyway, and I don’t want to keep being nice to Spike if it’s going to make me like… like him, you know? And it’s not like I’m even being that nice! I haven’t killed him, and I don’t punch him as much as I want to. But in what world does that count as being nice?_

_I asked Willow if I could still pass this class if I don’t hand in the journal. She didn’t say anything, but I got the feeling she wasn’t even sure if I’d pass this class no matter what I did since, y’know, Riley. So I guess keep plugging away and just cross out the worst bits before I hand it in. Like this bit. And the bits about liking Spike. And the bits about Riley being boring. Oops, I did it again._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut! But this is where the Dubcon comes in because we cover Where the Wild Things Are in this chapter (aka notGhosts made them do it)

Buffy had just taken her hand off of that erm… interesting spot on the wall, face flushed and heart still beating fast. She turned around to see none other but Spike looking at her in that weird way he had since the body swap. All stormy and intense and heated.

“What are you even doing here?”

“None of your business, is it?”

“It is when you’re hanging around-” a couple, in the midst of a heavy make-out session, jostled Buffy on their way by, and she stumbled into Spike, who for once did not look annoyed at having Buffy in the vicinity. In fact, he looked (and felt) happy to see her. Buffy was about to pull away, ready to call Spike a pig when he shoved her against the wall, shielding her from flying glass that seemed to originate in the corner were a group was playing Spin the Bottle.

“I…” what was she going to say again? Buffy felt all confused- probably because of that wall. Got her all worked up and she never got a chance to finish. “Something weird is going on.”

“Yeah,” Spike said, voice low and eyes intense.

“I should go…”

“Hmmmm.”

“Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“Like what, luv?”

“Like,” Buffy waved her hand ineffectually “that.” She finished lamely.

“What, like you’re beautiful? Strong? Radiant?” He leaned forward, his nose brushing her cheek, lips almost touching her ear, “Delicious?”

“Spike!” This time she did shove him away, though it was an embarrassingly weak shove. She leaned against the wall, hoping he wouldn’t notice her wobbly knees.

“What? You think every frat boy here isn’t dying for a taste? Well, I’ll tell you what. You’re worth the wait.”

“What is going on?” Buffy asked weakly. I mean, yeah, objectively Spike is yummy and all, but hello, vampire? Also, he stunk like cigarette smoke which is icky and also Spike. But no one had ever talked to her this way, looked at her this way. It felt good.

“I’m just reminiscing about how your tight little body felt squirming all over me. Thinking it might be worth a repeat performance.”

“That wasn’t me!”

“Sure it was. You might’ve been under a spell, but it was you all right. No one made you put your tongue-”

“Spike!”

“Mmm, yeah?”

“Ok, yes, that was me but it doesn’t count!” Buffy hissed. “And neither does whatever happened between you and Faith. I don’t know what she said to you, or what she let you do to her- me- my body- but it’s not happening again, got it?”

“Ooooh,” it looked like a light bulb went off behind Spike’s eyes. “That explains it. I knew there was no way you’d say that.”

“What did I say?” Buffy asked, almost timidly.

Spike was silent for long enough that Buffy assumed he wasn’t going to tell her. She was going to duck under his arm- which was wrapped around her waist for some reason?- but then he leaned forward, doing that intent eye thing again. “I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I’ve got muscles you’ve never even dreamed of; I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne and you’d beg me to hurt you just a little. Bit. More.” The hand that had somehow made its way into Buffy’s hair gave a little tug and she gasped, opening eyes that she hadn’t realized she’d closed.

“You know why I don’t?” Spike asked, intense gaze focused on her face.

Buffy couldn’t help the tiny sigh that eased out of her lips.

“Neither do I,” Spike dropped his head to meet Buffy’s lips with his.

“Mmmph,” It was meant to be an objection but came out as a moan. The hands wrapped around Spike were supposed to be pushing him away, not clutching at the leather of his coat. But it was good. He was good. Buffy hadn’t forgotten what happened when they kissed before. Had even remembered it during certain private activities. Occasionally she even regretted that she wouldn’t get to experience it again, or that she hadn’t gotten the chance to experience more.

A spell, she thought with the last shreds of lucidity. It’s another spell. It’s not my fault.

Spike used his grip in her hair to tip her head to the side, getting a better angle. His cool lips move against her, his tongue entered her and she moaned again, one leg wrapping around his hip. He boosted her up and she wrapped the other leg around, squeezing him.

Spike stumbled away from the wall and nearly dropped her when he tripped over another partygoer. Buffy’s feet hit the floor and they continued to wobble vaguely towards the stairs. They stopped on the landing when Buffy had to tear her lips away from Spikes to take in a few gasping breaths. Spike, not needing to breathe, but still panting anyway, worked his way down her neck, growling and nipping at her.

“Oh God…” Buffy moaned, surprising herself at her enthusiasm for vampire teeth at her neck.

“You like that, Buffy?” Spike murmured, working his way up to her ear and tracing around the shell with the tip of his tongue. “Need a little danger? Some monster in your man?”

Buffy replied by shoving Spike against the wall and biting his neck hard. He groaned. Loudly. “You like it too.” She observed.

“Yes,” Spike gasped raggedly, then continued to haul her up the stairs.

The first room they stumbled into was already occupied by a couple in the midst of what Spike and Buffy were about to do. The second room contained only one man – was that Riley? – who clearly needed some privacy for what he was in the middle of so Buffy and Spike stumbled out again. Third time was a charm and Spike had the presence of mind to pop the lock as they slammed the door behind them.

Spike tossed Buffy on the bed and she landed spread eagle, hair radiating about her head like a halo. Spike paused for a second (but only a second!) to admire her before diving onto the bed, slipping out of his coat as he went.

His hands and mouth were all over her. No matter which way she turned, Buffy was surrounded by Spike. His hair slipped through her fingers, his erection pressed against Buffy’s crotch and his scent was all around her. Cigarettes, yes, but leather and liquor and who knows what else. Buffy found she didn’t mind so much now, with his hands in her hair and teeth on her neck.

“Oh,” she bucked against him, seeking (and finding!) friction.

“That’s it, Slayer, you take what you need,” Spike thrust against her, revelling in her moan. “You gonna rub yourself off on me? You gonna get off just from some kissing and petting?”

“Nnoooo,” Buffy groaned, even as she bucked against Spike. He bit her neck again, then shoved up her shirt to fondle her breasts, gentle for a moment before pinching a nipple hard, just as he bit her again.

Buffy shrieked, partly in surprise and partly in release as she surged against him, then fell quivering against the bed.

Spike had the biggest shit eating grin Buffy had ever seen. Surprisingly, he didn’t say anything. Rather, he finished what he started with her shirt, pulling it gently over her head and removing her bra as well.

Buffy just laid there, head spinning, panting. Confused and horny and not sure what to do next. Spike was taking off her pants now, gleefully licking and nipping at her legs until she squirmed away from him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He growled, pulling off her panties and leaving Buffy completely nude. “I’m not even close to finished with you yet.”

“What are we doing?” Buffy squeaked, hands at his shoulders. _Push him away_ she told herself, even as she gripped him hard enough to bruise.

“Having a good time,” Spike said, wiggling out of his own jeans while Buffy tugged his t-shirt over his head. Wait, what?

“You want me to stop?”

“No. Yes. We- this is so wrong!”

“Mmmm,” Spike pressed his naked body against hers and she sighed at the feeling of his cool skin against her heated flesh.

“Don’t. Stop.” She gasped, but it came out as “don’t stop!” She raked her nails down Spikes back and writhed against him, liberated in that she didn’t have to remember to control her strength. She didn’t care if she hurt Spike, hell, he seemed to like it. She could finally let go.

“Won’t stop,” Spike mumbled into her neck, moving south. Buffy missed his lips on her neck while simultaneously rejoicing at their presence on her breasts. He was taking way too long exploring her, though he did find the sensitive place right underneath that she didn’t know was there so Buffy supposed that was ok.

He hummed happily as she squirmed under him. Spike wasn’t so bothered about this being wrong. He was built for transgression. Besides, if he couldn’t kill Buffy then fucking her would be the next best thing, right? Or maybe killing was the next best thing to fucking. They had hardly even gotten started but Spike wasn’t so sure that killing Buffy would be the best way to spend time with her.

Buffy’s legs were clamped around his hips, her heels digging into Spikes lower back, and she was grinding against his prick. With the help of his hands and mouth on her breasts she came faster this time.

“What is happening to me?”

“It’s called an orgasm, luv. Not surprised you’ve never had one before given who you-”

“Spike!” She cried, slapping his head. “I know what an… orgasm is.” She whispered that last bit. “I meant why am I having them with you? And so many?”

“’Cause I can give you what you want.” He waggled his eyebrows and started shimmying down her body.

Buffy attempted to close her legs, but since they were wrapped around Spike all it did was slow his progress a little. “Why would you want to give me anything? Besides an early death?”

“Would hardly be early, for a slayer. As for the other…” he trailed off, finally worming his way down so he could get a good look at her pussy, “fucking’s no fun if the lady isn’t strangling you.”

“Eww, Spike!”

“-with her thighs,” he finished, tongue darting out to take a tiny taste of Buffy’s slick curls and rosy labia.

Buffy flailed, trying to push him away but he was on a mission and her weak attempts weren’t going to dissuade him. Buffy let her legs fall open, rebelliously refusing to “strangle” Spike, despite what he was doing to her. His stupid clever tongue was teasing around, never quite landing where she wanted it. One hand was already gripped in his hair, and she tightened her fingers, pressing and dragging at his head to try to get him to where she wanted him.

He resisted, of course. Spike didn’t care about the stinging pain coming from his scalp. That and the fingernails digging into his shoulder just went to show how good a job he was doing. He ignored her clitoris (with great difficulty) and instead delved his tongue inside her. He groaned, eyes rolling up in his head behind closed lids. Now this was a real treat- he knew of vampires who almost preferred this to human blood, but he hadn’t ever partaken, being the monogamous sort and only just getting out of a long (long, long) term relationship with the undead.

The sounds coming out of Buffy were almost as satisfying as her taste. Both hands were in Spike’s hair now, and she was grinding against his face. She found that if she got the angle right her clit could press against Spike’s nose as he sucked and tongued her. Another orgasm was building, this one stronger and soon she was clutching at him.

Buffy didn’t realize what happened until her legs fell away from their stranglehold on Spike’s head. Guess he won this round, she thought hazily to herself.

Spike surfaced, licking his lips. The look in his eyes was hot and feral and completely delighted.

“What’re you so happy about?” Buffy murmured, slowly closing her legs and rolling to the side.

Spike snorted and pulled Buffy onto her back. “Prolly the same thing you’re so happy about.”

“I’m not happy,” Buffy frowned. “I should be hating this.”

Instead of answering, Spike eased his way between Buffy’s knees and began to rub his erection again her soaking heat. “Do you hate this?”

“No,” Buffy sighed, grinding against him.

“Good. Bet you’ll not hate this part too.” He probed her once or twice, then pushed his prick inside her. “Slayer,” He groaned and she took him, all of him. She started to writhe against him again, wrapping her legs around him and then she shoved him.

Spike found himself laying on his back with a fantastic view of Buffy’s tits as she started bouncing away on him. He brought his hands to her hips, but then just contented himself with stroking her and watching her. Her face was pink with pleasure and exertion, and the blush spread down her chest and across almost to her shoulders. She was damp with sweat and heat rolled off of her in waves.

Buffy started to slow so Spike took up the slack, bucking against her and using his grip on her hips to drive her up and down on him.

“Please, just… just…” Buffy gasped as he rolled beneath her. “Hold still!” She finally growled, lunging forward to pin Spike’s hands above his head. He hid his surprise and did his best to obey her, turning his head to bite down on the pillow and clenching his hands into fists as while she rode him at, yes, a gallop. Buffy used his body to get off and he loved it.

She started to slow again and Spike growled. “Go on, go on!”

“Shut up!” She snapped, grinding against him. She sat up, frowning in concentration. Her tiny movements were torture. Spike would have flipped her over and pounded her though the mattress were it not for those muscles he never even dreamed of.

Now Buffy was leaning back, hands braced on Spike’s shins. Her spine was arched, head thrown back and she kept rocking, whimpering and moaning now. Finally, Spike clued in. He kept one hand on her hip for leverage and pressed the other against her belly, giving her the pressure she needed from the outside as well as the inside, while simultaneously letting his thumb dip down to her clit.

Buffy rocked slowly against Spike, and now they could both feel it building. Slow, but inevitable, like a lava crawling across the landscape.

When Spike thought he couldn’t take it anymore, Buffy broke. She bucked hard against him, crying out and falling forwards, hands digging into his chest and nails drawing blood. She landed with her head on his shoulder and kissed the flesh under her mouth, soothing some of the scratches.

“You let me… it’s like… you were... we were…” She mumbled, barely audible. “Mine.”

“Yeah. That was bloody incredible.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Welcome.”

They laid there for a few minutes, too spent to act on the incessant, pulsing, sexual energy that still flowed between them.

“I’ve never done that before. Let go like that.” She nuzzled Spikes chest, too tired to care who Spike had been to her in the past, only feeling who he was in the moment. “Did I hurt you?”

Spike bit out a laugh. “Yeah, in all the right places.”

“You like it.”

“Yeah. And you like doing it.”

“Yeah,” Buffy sighed. “Just another thing wrong with me. No wonder I keep ending up with vampires. Can’t be normal enough for humans.”

Spike bit back a response. They may have just shagged each other silly, but that didn’t mean he had to swoon and fawn all over her delicate ego. He’d rather swoon and fawn over her decidedly not delicate body. “So… since you drew blood…?”

“No.”

“’Kay.”

They rested in silence for a few minutes.

“You wanna go again?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah.” They turned on their sides, lazily kissing and touching. They were in less of a rush this time, but they still felt a weird urgency. Super strength or not, they both knew they should have been sated but something was driving them to keep going.

And keep going they did. For hours. Until Xander and Anya burst through the door with a crash and splintered wood.

“Buffy!” Xander yelled, about to rush forward and yank Spike off of her, except he realized that she was on top.

“Xander!” she cried, grabbing up a sheet and clumsily rolling away from Spike. “Knock much?”

Xander and Anya just stared, then as one turned away and plodded out of the house.

Spell broken, Spike and Buffy stared at each other. Revulsion, exhaustion and affection warred in Buffy’s mind and she slowly stood, walking around stiffly to gather her clothes.

“It was a spell,” Spike said. “Not your fault.”

“Don’t be nice to me,” Buffy would have snapped, but she was too tired and confused.

“Are you ok?” Spike asked, genuine concern colouring his voice. “I don’t like you, but I don’t want to hurt you. Not like that.”

“You didn’t.” Buffy fought down the tears in her throat and finished dressing. “It was… good. I wish it wasn’t.” She finished miserably.

“What can I do?” Spike was immediately at her side, close, but not touching. Damnit, why should he care? He berated himself, but he couldn’t help it. He felt a powerful urge to protect her, to care for her, that he didn’t understand.

“Nothing.” She said sadly. “Goodbye, Spike.

“Goodbye.”


	4. Chapter 4

He tried to stay away. He really did. The first night went alright. He was still tired from the sex marathon the night before and stayed in, watching movies and drinking. Blood, to replenish him and booze to keep him distracted.

The second night was harder. He found himself outside, wandering the graveyards and hanging around the college.

The third night he put himself directly in Buffy’s path, rushing over to her dorm as soon as the sun went down. He arranged himself nonchalantly under a tree, cigarette in his lips. Sure enough Buffy stepped out, alone and dressed for slaying. His eyes followed her movements, trying to assess her mood. He watched as she abruptly changed directions and headed straight for him.

“Spike.”

“Slayer.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Free country, innit?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes, fussing with her stake.

“You gonna use that?” He nodded at it.

“No,” she sighed, tucking it away. “Not on you, anyway.” Buffy turned away and Spike fell into step beside her. Neither one said anything for a long time.

“It was ghosts,” Buffy finally said as they finished the loop around campus.

“What now?”

“The… the party. There were these ghost- well, not ghosts because the people are still alive, but these spirit/entity things that were all mad and horny and making everyone act weird.”

Spike nodded, but didn’t interrupt.

“They… fed off of sexual energy. Ours, especially, though it’s not like we were the only ones.” By now she was blushing hard and staring at the ground.

“So not a spell, then.”

“No.”

“But not really our decision, either?”

“You don’t seem to mind.”

Spike chuckled darkly. “I thought you were a hot little piece since the first time I saw you. But…” he trailed off, thinking hard before he spoke. “I wouldn’t have chosen you. Like with Red’s spell. I’m not broken up that it happened, but I wouldn’t have chosen it.”

“Why does this keep happening to us?” Buffy lamented, coming to a stop against a lamp post. Spike crossed the circle of light to stand beside her, to Buffy’s left as always.

“Dunno,” he slouched, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Everyone else in your band of merry men is paired off now, aren’t they? Well except for the Watcher-”

“And Willow! At least, not for the first spell.”

Spike gave Buffy a strange look but didn’t say anything.

“But I’m not about to get with Giles or-or Willow.” Buffy frowned. “And you’re always around so maybe it was a default thing.” She ignored the fact that the frat house had been crawling with boys and given the atmosphere any one of them would likely have been happy to sleep with her. Spike had already told her as much, and strangely enough she trusted him to tell the truth.

“Wait, you think I’m hot?”

Spike shrugged, trying to act cool.

“I guess… I guess you’re kinda hot too. For a psycho killer vamp.”

“Now that’s the nicest thing you ever said to me!” Spike exclaimed with a boyish grin.

A smile tugged at Buffy’s lips as well. “Maybe I’m a nice person.”

Spike snorted straighten up and strutted away. This time it was Buffy who followed him.

“Or… or maybe I’m just trying to be.” Buffy said quietly when she caught up to him.

“Why would you do that?”

Now it was Buffy who shrugged. It was no longer just about the homework. She wanted Spike to be ok. God help her, she wanted him to stop hating her. Buffy glanced up at his face. He was carefully looking straight ahead with a deliberately neutral expression. Maybe he already didn’t hate her.

***

Buffy stared at the blank page in her journal. What was she supposed to write? That she locked lips with Spike, again? That it wasn’t her fault, again? That he seemed… decent. He had asked her if she wanted to stop. He had asked her if she was ok. All things considered, he’d behaved better than she had. Buffy dejectedly flipped through the journal, looking at all of the stuff she would have to redact. What was even the point?

She supposed she should feel violated, but she didn’t, not really. Sure, she was angry, but not about being thrown together with Spike- rather, that it couldn’t happen again. Why find out how good it could be when it was with the completely wrong person? Her skin felt too tight and she was too hot. She went over to the small window in her dorm and opened it as wide as she could, leaning her forehead against the cool glass.

She opened her eyes and looked out into the quad. There- by that lamp post. Was that the one she and Spike had stopped at the other night? The shadows looked a little darker in one part, like someone was there. Buffy’s breath hitched and she found herself in the hallway so quickly she was surprised she’d had time to grab a jacket.

“What am I doing?” she asked herself and forcibly turned around, back into her dorm. Something was wrong. The only time she ever ran _to_ Spike was to stop him from hurting someone. Why should he care if he’s lurking around? It’s not like he can feed and he doesn’t have anything else to do. She determinedly opened up a text book and stared at the random page before her. She, on the other hand, had tons to do and should get on with doing it instead of thinking icky thoughts about icky vampires.

***

“In our society romantic love is seen at the pinnacle. If you’re not in a monogamous, sexual, romantic relationship you are missing something. I don’t want to get too much into anthropology here, but that is not the only way a society can view love. For example, some ancient Greek philosophers suggested the purest form of love was between a man and a- and a youth. A teenage boy.” Riley paused while a wave of “ewwwws,” worked its way through the auditorium. “I’m not saying you should go out and do that, obviously. But in some societies sexuality is completely separate from romance. There is no one size fits all solution to love and sex. Trying to limit yourself to what society tells you is right can cause a great deal of discomfort.

“For example, homosexuality used to be regarded as a mental illness. People “suffering” from it suffered not because of their sexuality, but because of the way society treated them. We still have a long way to go, but at least now we realize that one’s sexuality isn’t a mental illness.”

 _Clearly doesn’t know about me,_ Buffy thought, _I must be crazy._ She looked down at her notes and started furiously scratching out her idle doodles. It wasn’t like she was artistically gifted, but she didn’t want anyone to recognize the stick figure Spike and Buffy patrolling the margin. When she glanced up Willow was staring straight ahead, tense and hyper focussed.

“You ok?” Buffy whispered.

Willow nodded curtly, then looked down at her notes.

The lecture dragged on, then at the end Willow wanted to ask Riley about something, so Buffy hung back to wait. The conversation only took a minute and then Riley made eye contact with Buffy and beckoned her over.

“What’s up?” Buffy asked a little nervously.

“Nothing official, I just wanted to make sure you’re ok.”

“I’m the okest.” Buffy chirped and gave him a puzzled look.

“Well I…” Riley shuffled his papers. “That party? A lot of weird stuff happened, and I thought I saw you with some guy…” He shook his head, clearly struggling to find the right words. “Look, I’m just going to spit it out. Did he take advantage of you?”

“No!” Buffy said quickly, without giving it a thought. “No it was… fine. No one was really in control of themselves. We- my friends and I- it was a ghostly presence kind of thing. But it’s ok now.”

Riley gave her a look that said he didn’t completely believe her. “Who was it? I only really saw you…”

“No one you know,” Buffy lied. “I-I think he just crashed.” At least that part was true.

Riley looked like he wanted to say more, but he nodded instead and she gave him a mock salute before heading out to meet Willow.

“What was that about?” The redhead asked and she and Buffy meandered down the hall.

“He remembered seeing me with someone at the frat party. Wanted to make sure I’m ok.”

“And are you?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, “Yes, Will, we’ve been over this. I’m fine. You’re fine. Tara’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone’s fine, right?”

“Right,” Willow nodded. “But are you sure? It was Spike…” She trailed off with a grimace.

Buffy sighed. She had, of course, given the gang the short version, and Willow a slightly longer one, but she hadn’t talked about it, not really. They came to a stop and Buffy leaned against a wall. She stared at her shoes and finally let out the thought that had been clawing inside her chest since she’d first had time to sit down and really process what had happened. “In some ways I’m was glad it was Spike.”

Willow gasped, eyes huge but didn’t interrupt. Buffy plodded on, “I really let loose Will, I mean really. Full Slayer strength and everything. What if I’d done that to a human? I could have really hurt someone. Plus, I know I’m not going to have a bouncy baby demon in nine months.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Willow nodded, clearly trying to see it from Buffy’s perspective. “When you say Slayer strength…”

“It works on the inside too,” a warm blush crept across Buffy’s face. “I had to be really careful with Parker to not crush his-“

“Enough,” Willow raised her hands. “I get it. I guess all things considered,” she paused, nibbling her lip. “Have you seen Spike since then?”

“Yeah, around,” Buffy said lightly. “He’s fine. He’s actually not being too gross about it. But you know how I picked him for the psych journal? What am I supposed to write?”

“Ooooh. Oh, no no no. I don’t know. And now Riley- I think he still has a big time crush on you. Oh no. We’ll think of something, Buffy. I’ll help you. We’ll get through this.”

“Thanks, Will,” Buffy pulled Willow into an affectionate one-armed hug. “I know I can count on you.”

“Always,” Willow said with a tight smile. “Bronze tonight? I think we could use a little dance therapy.”

“Sure,” Buffy agreed quickly, smile spreading across her face. “That sounds like exactly what I need. I’ll do a quick sweep first and meet you there, ok?”

“Sounds great.” Willow grinned, face softening from the worried frown she had been wearing.


	5. Chapter 5

_Entry #22: [The Yoko Factor]_

_Last night was such a disaster - so much for a quick sweep. Got my butt kicked by Adam. Got Forest killed. Angel showed up (with Riley, for some reason) but too late to actually help with anything. Haven’t seen Spike. Want to see Spike. Want to stake Spike. I think it’s time to call in the tweed reinforcements on this one. There’s something weird going on and it’s not going away. Maybe I’ll talk to Giles at the Scooby meeting tonight. I wish Adam could just back off so I could get this whole Buffy the Vampire Fetishist thing resolved._

“SPIKE!”

“Bloody hell, woman, don’t you ever knock?” Spike demanded, hiding how startled he’d been at the noise and the vehemence with which she kicked open his door.

“What are you up to?”

“What?”

“You got everyone to have a giant fight. Giles got drunk.”

“Did he now?”

“Yes! He thinks I don’t need him, Willow thinks I think she’s in a-a phase, Xander also thinks no one needs him. And I just know you had something to do with it.” Buffy advanced on Spike, poking him hard in the middle of his chest.

“What makes you think that?”

“You messed with everyone except me!”

Spike stared down at her, eyebrows raised.

“Things have been weird. You’re weird. You haven’t said a single mean thing to me since-since- you know. But now you’re, what? Just trying to stir up trouble? Why do that when you just gave us “important” information?” Buffy had removed herself from Spike’s vicinity and was now stomping around his crypt, flailing her arms angrily.

“Are you mad that I talked to your friends, or mad that I didn’t talk to you?”

“Ha! You admit it! You did talk to them!”

“Talk to lots of people,” Spike said sulkily, lighting a cigarette and blowing the smoke in Buffy’s general direction.

“Yeah? Fine. Then talk to me. What’re you up to? What’s Adam up to?”

“Me? I’m just tryin’ to get by. It’s tough out there for a vamp who can’t bite. Especially one with a reputation for taking out demons. As for Frankenface, he wants to build a patchwork army out of spare bits. Said he’d get my chip out if I helped him.”

“And will you? Help him?”

Spike just winked and took another drag.

Buffy sighed, her anger starting to fade. “What about this army? Can he do it?”

“Dunno.”

“Are you even telling the truth? About any of this?”

“What do you think?”

“I think you’re an infuriatingly idiotic jerk who needs to stay out of my way!” Buffy yelled, pouncing on him and knocking him down. When the dust settle she was straddling him, stake touching his chest.

“I’m telling the truth,” Spike said quietly. He met Buffy’s eyes and held her gaze while he continued. “I helped him. I thought he could get the chip out. But he’s not gonna. All his minions are talking about the “upgrades” they’re gonna get. They don’t understand that Adam doesn’t want them, he wants their parts. He wants to sew together odds and ends and make something new, not add on to existing bodies. He’s going to kill them all, and take out as many humans as he can along the way.”

“And what are you going to do?” Buffy’s grip on the stake relaxed and she became aware of a wave up heat rolling through her body.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to stay away,” Buffy lied. Her left hand, the one not holding the stake, found Spike’s arm and followed it up to his shoulder. She watched it like it belonged to someone else as it made its way up Spike’s neck. Her fingertips rested in his hair for a breath before she yanked her hand back and scrambled to her feet. She refused to look at Spike and strode out the door and back in the direction of Giles’ condo.

Spike lay where he fell, eyes closed, remembering. For the first time in their strange relationship Buffy’s touch had been gentle. Even the night at the frat house she had been firm, demanding, rough. But this had been different. Tender, almost. Affectionate.

The worst part, the most alarming and deranged bit of this historonic stage show, was that he liked it. Needed it. He wanted to cuddle and touch and whisper sweet nothings. Of course, he still wanted to fuck in half- who wouldn’t? But something about having her undivided attention, having her body close and her touch light, made him feel whole.

***

“There’s something wrong,” Buffy said, slamming through Giles’ door.

“I’ll say,” He grumbled, emerging from the kitchen in a bath robe, hair askew and empty mug in one hand and bottle of Tylenol in the other.

Buffy glanced at her watch and looked up sheepishly. “It’s late. Sorry.”

“More like early.”

“Giles, I need you. Please.”

His face softened and the kettle whistled. Giles beckoned Buffy inside. “What is it?”

“Well, first, I talked to Spike. He intentionally got us all fighting. I’ve already talked to Willow about it we’re going to track down Xander in the morning.”

“Really Buffy-”

“And you know the whole thing with the horny ghosts?”

Giles winced but nodded.

“There must be some-some leftover mojo or something. Maybe they cursed me? I don’t know, but there’s got to be something.”

“If you could be more specific-”

“I can’t stay away from Spike!” She squawked. “I feel this- it’s like I’m itchy, and the only thing that makes it better is when he’s there. I think it’s the same for him. He’s been around almost every night, helping me patrol and being- being, like, nice. For Spike,” She clarified. “Not nice for a normal person.”

“I see,” Giles said, despite the fact that he had taken off his glasses and was doing the polishing thing. Buffy was surprised there were still lenses with the number of times he did that. “What does he want?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know Spike, he usually has an ulterior motive, or-or at least a scheme.”

“I…” Buffy thought for a moment. “I think he just wants to make sure I’m okay.”

“I beg your pardon!” The glasses that had only just returned to his nose were back in hands.

“I knoooow,” Buffy moaned, collapsing into a chair and holding her head in her hands.

“I hate to ask, Buffy, but are you… a-a-attracted to Spike?”

Buffy looked up slowly, hands in her hair and gave Giles a withering look he should have been proud of.

“No, of course not,” Giles chided himself, feeling heated blood gathering in his cheeks. “An emotional bond then?”

“A bond,” Buffy repeated hollowly. “I guess you could say that.”

“Hmm,” Giles went over to his bookcase, considering the collection. “Maybe Willow-”

“No!” Buffy exclaimed, startling the watcher. “No, I don’t want to… I don’t want everyone to know. It’s bad enough that _I_ know.”

“Understandable,” Giles frowned. “I must say, Buffy, I may not know now, but I’m sure I will find out. I’m certain the presence was dissipated, but perhaps some wayward energy made its way into you and Spike. The others were at the party, yes? Maybe we should ask some questions, see if any of them have experienced something… similar.”

“Maybe,” Buffy said, thinking of her Willow free bedroom.

“Perhaps you should question them? Or bring it up in a way that seems… natural. I will-”

“Consult my books,” Buffy finished in unison with Giles and grinned. He offered a tight smile at her, though his thoughts were clearly racing away with him. “Thanks, Giles. I guess I’ll head back to the dorm and try to catch some sleep before class. Call me if you find anything?”

“Of course. You do the same?”

“You betcha,” Buffy hopped back to her feet and slammed out the door.

Giles carefully selected several volumes from his shelf, though none of them were about hauntings or ghostly presences. He had an awful hunch and hoped very much that he was wrong.

***

“Will! There you are,” Buffy slid into the seat next to Willow, carefully balancing her cafeteria tray.

“Buffy!” Willow smiled, slightly nervous.

“Where’s Tara?”

“She doesn’t have class ‘til later, so she’s sleeping in.” Willow’s face softened as her cheeks warmed.

“Lucky her. And you,” Buffy said affectionately, nudging Willow in the side. “I’m sorry I was so weird about it. I was just surprised, y’know? And that whole thing with Oz… And then last night… but it’s all good now, right?”

“Yeah,” Willow agreed, taking a dainty bite of her toast. “Things were a little tense between Tara and me at the party, and again with Oz, but everything is great now.”

“What do you mean? What happened at the party?”

“Oh, nothing,” Willow deflected. “Nothing like what you had to go through. Are you sure you’re ok-”

“Wills, what happened?”

“Tara just… she got freaked out a little bit when I tried to… tried to hold her hand. Said it was wrong and dirty. The presence made her feel some good old Catholic guilt, I guess.”

“But now you’re ok? Normal? No… weird feelings or anything?”

“No, none,” Willow grinned. “We are only of the good.”

“I’m happy for you.” Buffy gave her a one armed hug, then concentrated on wolfing down her breakfast. If she stuffed enough food in her mouth maybe Willow wouldn’t notice her frown.

***

“Hi, Anya. Xander’s mom let me in.”

“Oh. Hello,” Anya pasted her fake smile on and gestured woodenly around the basement. “Please come in.”

“I don’t need to stay for long,” Buffy said, then decided to take a page from Anya’s book and just blurt it all out. “Is there anything weird going on between you and Xander? Since the frat party with the ghosts?”

“They weren’t ghosts. Ghosts are what’s left of some people after they die and those people didn’t die so they were-”

“Ok, the not ghosts. Have you felt any… weird stuff? Like, you have to be together, more than usual? Like your skin doesn’t fit right, like if you don’t go him right now you’re going to explode? Like, even though you can’t stand him, you need him?”

“Oh, no. We’re together lots. All the time. And I can stand him very much.” Anya looked introspective for a moment, then seemed to remember that Buffy was there. Her expression turned curious. “Are you feeling that way about someone? Is it Spike?”

“No!”

“Good,” Anya said. “Because feeling that way for a vampire, suddenly, especially someone you don’t like sounds like a Claim.”

“What’s a Claim?” Buffy asked cautiously.

“Oh, you know, when a vampire wants to tell everyone “This person is my mate!” They bite you, say “you’re mine,” you say “I’m yours,” and poof! You’re bonded forever.” Anya said brightly.

Buffy’s face paled. “Is it- is it only vampires who can do that? Claim each other?”

Anya shrugged. “They’re the only ones that do. All obsessed with blood and stuff.”

“They have to drink your blood in order to claim you?”

“Duh,” Anya said, rolling her eyes. “Hasn’t Giles taught you anything about vampires?”

“Pointy end goes here,” Buffy tapped her chest, relief evident on her face. Spike had definitely _not_ bitten her, at least not hard enough to draw blood. And she was pretty sure she hadn’t said “I’m yours,” at any point, though the whole evening was a little blurred. But just in case… “Can a vampire Claim more than one person?”

“Only if it’s a one way Claim. Like, vampire A claims vampire B, but vampire B doesn’t claim vampire A. Then vampire A can claim as many others as they want. But if they claim each other, no. It’s like lobsters, you know.”

Buffy shook her head in confusion.

“They mate for life? If it’s mutual it can only be broken if a stronger vampire makes a claim and the claimee agrees, which almost never happens. Though there was this one time in 1914-”

“Great, thanks Anya.”

“You’re leaving now?” Buffy nodded and Anya looked relieved, then plastered on her fake smile. “Thank you for visiting. Please drop by any time.”

Buffy left, a bounce in her step. She may not have found out what was going on, but at least she knew one thing it wasn’t. If vampires were all into this Claim thingie, then Spike and Drusilla must have Claimed each other. Why else would he have been so unhappy to be dumped by that loonie ho-bag?

It was early evening; the sun was just beginning to set and Buffy decided she would do a sweep before heading over to see Giles. Buffy wasn’t expecting it to take long, since all the demons seemed to be laying low lately. All except one.

“Where is everybody?” Buffy grumbled as Spike peeled out of the shadows to join her.

“Shall I call up my friends? Throw a party?”

“Don’t bother. I’m hoping for an early night.”

“Slayer needs her beauty sleep?”

“Something like that.”

They walked along for a while longer before Spike slouched against the wall of a crypt and Buffy came to a stop beside him. They stood for a few moments in companionable silence.

“There’s going to be a big fight soon.” Buffy said quietly.

“There usually is.”

“Whose side are you on?”

“Yours,” Spike straightened up, gazing at her seriously. “Always yours.” Her hands were creeping up his arms.

“Why?” She breathed, leaning into the cool hand that had found its way into her hair.

“Don’t know. Just am.” Buffy’s warm breath fluttered against his cheek and Spike closed his eyes against the sensation, resting his brow against hers. It felt so good, so right, that Spike forgot it was wrong.

“Spike,” She sighed, tilting back her head. Her lips were parted, eyes mostly closed.

Spike knew an invitation when he saw one. He dipped his head and gently brushed his lips against Buffy’s, lingering there for only a few moments before he moved to her cheek, chin, forehead. He peppered light kisses all over her face, murmuring sweet nothings as he did. “Sweet girl. Beautiful. Darling”

Buffy clutched at his shoulders, knees suddenly wobbly. She shifted one hand to the back of Spikes head and used it to draw his lips back to hers where she surprised them both by turning up the intensity. She pressed the length of her body against his and ran her tongue urgently against the seam of his lips until he opened and let her in.

God, she had missed this. This, right here, made it better. Eased the psychic itch, though it created a score of new feelings that demanded attention. Tingles raced across her skin, gathering in her groin with an intensity that scared her. This time there was no spell, no ghosts. No one to blame but herself and she didn’t care. She just needed Spike and he needed her and they were finally- _finally�_ in each other’s arms.

Buffy reluctantly broke the kiss; it was that or asphyxiate. She tucked her head into Spike’s shoulder while she gasped and he held her tight, leaning his head against hers.

“That was the best one yet.” He rumbled.

“Huh?”

“Just you an’ me. No magic involved this time.”

“That’s what I was thinking.” Buffy said, somewhat hollowly. She was beginning to come down and oh no, what had she done? She started to push away and Spike held her tightly for a moment before thinking better of it and releasing her.

“I… um…” She mumbled, hands still resting on his forearms.

“Run along now Slayer,” Spike said with a sad smile.

For once, and perhaps the only time in her life, Buffy did exactly what Spike told her to.


	6. Chapter 6

_Right on time_ , Spike thought, as the Scoobies trooped by his hiding spot a little ways away from the frat house. He waited for a few moment before he followed them at a safe distance, flitting from one shadow to the next. Buffy glanced back and he was pretty sure she saw him, but she didn’t say anything. Emboldened, Spike shortened his following distance and caught up to the group by the time they reached the cursed house.

“What’re you doing here?” Xander demanded.

“Want front row seats for the show,” Spike jeered, falling into step on the Slayer’s left.

Xander rolled his eyes and glared at him. “Are you here to help?” He asked pointedly, “Or are you gonna switch sides again?”

“I never switch sides.” Spike retorted. “I’m _always_ on my side. And right now you lot are on my side too.”

Giles made a strangled noise while Xander loudly objected.

“Listen, I don’t like the initiative, and I don’t like Adam. You… _Scoobies_ ” He visibly winced when he used the title, “are the best shot at getting rid of both of them, as much as I hate to admit it. So for now we’re on the same side.” Spike slid a sideways glance at Buffy.

She sighed, but Spike thought he saw the shadow of a smile tugging at her mouth. “Let him come. If he turns on us I can always kill him, too.”

“Great,” Spike slapped his hands together. “What’s the plan?”

“We go in, they put the whammy on me, I kill Adam, we leave. Take down as many demons as we can on the way.”

“Aye, Aye!” Spike mocked and followed Buffy into the house.

***

Spike didn’t really like rappelling. If the option was available, he would have preferred to climb down on his own. But the ropes were set up and from the looks of it handholds were few and far between, so Spike found himself dangling, alone, in and elevator shaft while some kind of sob-fest was happening down below.

“What is going on down there?” He hollered. “Has one of you gotten killed already? Is it Xander?”

“No!” they chorused, with a backup of “Hey!” and “shut up, Spike!”

When he finally reached the ground he found a puppy pile of Scoobies, all hugging and professing their love. Spike echoed Giles’ early sentiment of “We’re all gonna die.”

“No we’re not,” Willow said. “We just really love each other.”

Spike rolled his eyes so hard he was surprised he didn’t see his own brain.

When the humans finally disentangled themselves he and Buffy pried open the elevator doors to be met by a bunch of army blokes with guns.

“Bloody brilliant.” Spike muttered as they soldiers marched them off.

“Isn’t that the HST everyone’s been looking for?” One of the soldiers asked another as they escorted the group through the labyrinthine hallways of the Initiative.

“No, I’m a friend of Xandersssss.” Spike said helpfully in what he hoped passed as an American accent.

“You could always taze him, see if he vamps out.”

“No one is getting tazed.” Buffy said testily.

The soldier laughed cockily. “Sure, yeah, let the prisoners tell us what to do. That’s how things work around here.”

“If only,” Giles said, clutching his gourd carefully.

Before the soldiers could settle whether or not to shoot Spike, the group arrived in what appeared to be a meeting room. Some blighter who seemed to think he knew what was going on was getting in the Slayer’s face and she was hollering right back. Spike wasn’t really paying attention; rather, he was busy memorizing the position of each person in the room, the location of the exits, and assessing anything not nailed down for its viability as a weapon.

Naturally, the lights went out. Spike sprinted to Buffy, grabbed her and collected the scoobies before busting down the door and fleeing.

“Where’re we headed, luv?”

“We need to find Adam.”

“We should go back to the office,” Willow piped up. “They have computers in there, I could look up-” Buffy slammed into Willow, pushing her out of the way as a soldier flew past them. A very big, very enraged looking demon crashed down the hallway after him.

“I just busted us out of there!” Spike shouted, sticking out his leg and tripping another, smaller demon as it ran by. It sprawled on the ground and Spike kicked it a couple of times to make sure it stayed down. “Besides, Adam’s prolly in his secret lab watching this all go down.”

“Do you happen to know where that is?” Buffy asked, clearly annoyed.

Spike grinned devilishly and tipped his head, then swept down the hallway.

“We will need someplace quiet and secure, but close to Buffy,” Giles said as they rushed after Spike.

“Never fear, Watcher, we’ll find a place. Then the Slayer and I-” Spike was cut off as a wild-eyed vampire rounded the corner and smashed her fist into Spike’s face. He staggered backwards, holding his broken nose and was about to recover himself when a blur of blond fury raced past him and started laying into the vampire. Buffy could have killed the vamp in seconds, but she was beating the living hell out of the poor thing. She finally dusted it and stood over the remains, panting.

“Buffy?” Willow asked hesitantly.

Buffy’s head snapped up and she strode over to Spike and grabbed his chin firmly, holding his face so she could see the damage. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Spike said, allowing her to inspect him. “Caught me by surprise, is all.”

“Okay. Let’s go. Be more careful!”

“Yes ma’am,” Spike smirked.

To his credit, Spike was more careful and didn’t get clocked like that again. As fun as it was to see the Slayer go all Mama Bear on him, he would really prefer to not take any more hits than necessary.

The group bypassed as much of the fighting as they could, before finding themselves in the infamous room 314.

“I should’ve known.” Buffy said, rolling her eyes. “You sure he’s here?”

“Through there,” Spike nodded towards another door on the far wall.

“Once I’m in, barricade the door behind me. Is this place okay to be magic central?”

“As long as we don’t get blowed up or nothin’,” Willow quipped.

“What’re the odds of that?” Xander replied.

“Hold up, you’re going in there alone?” Spike demanded. “Come on, Slayer, lemme fight with you. You need someone to watch your back.”

“No, Spike. You need to stay here and protect them. If the spell is interrupted, well,” Buffy shrugged, attempting to appear nonchalant. “Besides,” She looked around the room at her friends, which for the moment seemed to include Spike. “I won’t be alone.” With that Buffy swung open the door and left.

Spike opened his mouth to object, then closed it. “Right, then,” he grabbed the furniture and equipment that Xander and Willow hadn’t used and piled it up against the second door.

When he was through he turned around and saw the humans getting ready for their spell. Spike took up position against the wall and waited.

 _Well this is boring,_ he thought and lit up a smoke.

***

Back at the Summers’ household the humans chatted excitedly, grabbing snacks and blankets and positioning themselves around the television. Spike hung back, unsure of if he should join in or go or what. No one had seemed to mind (or maybe they didn’t notice) that he came back to Buffy’s house with them, but now that they were building a big happy nest together he wasn’t so sure he should stick around.

Buffy joined him in the hallway. “Thanks,” She said, looking up at him. “You did good.”

“Didn’t do so bad yourself.” He deflected, glancing down to where her hand rested on his arm.

“Do you want to stay? Xander brought Apocalypse Now.”

“Alright.”

Buffy lead him to the living room. She took a seat on the end of the couch, with Willow at the other end. Spike sat on the floor with his back against the couch, close enough that he could feel the heat from Buffy’s legs. Within moments the chatter stopped and the humans fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

_Entry #23 [post Restless]_

_Save everyone from Frankenface, almost get murdered in my sleep by the First Slayer. How is that fair?_

_I think this is my last entry ‘cuz I have to hand this in soon. My conclusion: I like Spike. There, I said it. I like him. I liked that he was leaning against my leg last night, and I really like that he was still there this morning. I liked kissing him, I liked having sex with him. I like patrolling with him and talking to him and I freaking like Spike. I’d better pass this stupid class because now I have to live in a world where I actually want to see and interact with a soulless, toothless creep._

_Bloody Hell._

“Buffy, hello. You are patrolling tonight?”

“It’s a day that ends in Y,” Buffy said, wedging the phone between her shoulder and ear as she rummaged through her tiny dorm room closet.

“Could you come by after? I have news. About you and Spike.”

“Oh,” Buffy froze, mind racing. “Just tell me now. Or I’ll come over now-”

“I want to do a bit more research,” Giles put her off. “I should be ready by the time you’re finished. You may wish to bring Spike, too, if you can find him.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Buffy grumbled.

“Yes, well, I’ll see you tonight.”

“Sure.” Buffy said and hung up the phone. She finished selecting her outfit and changed, then sat at her desk and tried to study. Finals were coming and she hadn’t exactly been Ms. Academic lately, with everything that had been going on. Not for the first time, Buffy considered just giving up on college all together. Just as she was getting really into the fantasy of throwing her books out the window, the door popped open and Willow came breezing in.

“Hi, Buffy,” she said brightly, dropping a pile of books on her bed.

“Hey, Will. Long time no see,” Buffy teased. She’d seen Willow plenty, just not in their dorm room.

“I need somewhere less distracting to study,” Willow said bashfully. “I’m not getting much schoolwork done at Tara’s.”

Buffy grinned. “Atta girl. But since you’re here, could you remind me why a college education is important?”

“It will give you more opportunities in the future, more earning potential and will expand your mind so it doesn’t shrivel up like a raisin.” Willow recited the often repeated reasons. “You could even go into occult studies and it would help with your slaying.”

“Right.” Buffy looked down at her text books.

“What’re you working on? Maybe I could help?”

“Sure,” Buffy passed over her text book. “Quiz me?”

***

Buffy left her dorm and took a deep breath of the warm night air. Summer was coming, and with it a down-tick in baddies. Many of them had been killed in the battle with Adam, or chipped by the initiative. The few that were left alive and whole had either fled or were lying low. Still, Buffy was looking forward to the exercise, at least. She had only spent an hour or two with Willow, but that was enough to leave her feeling antsy and frustrated.

“Evening, Slayer,” Spike said as she approached the street light, the one that had become their meeting spot.

“Hi,” Buffy said, sighing in relief. “Giles has news. He said to come after patrol.”

“We might as well go now,” Spike said. “It’s quiet out there. I don’t think we’re going to find much to do.”

“Giles said he needed a bit more time to get everything together. Besides, it’s a nice night. We can just walk.”

Spike nodded his assent and they wandered together, following Buffy’s usual rout. When they got to Restfield Spike steered them towards his crypt. “Fancy a drink?”

“Diet coke?” Buffy asked hopefully.

Spike scoffed. “Blood or Jack.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose but followed Spike inside anyway. He made a circuit of the room, silver zippo snicking on and off as he lit candles. He came to a stop in front of his mini-fridge and reached inside before chucking a bottle at Buffy.

She caught it out of the air easily and held it in front of her. It was cola- not diet, and store brand, but a smile spread across her face anyway. Buffy looked up at Spike and his eyes skidded away. He kept rummaging around, emerging with a container of blood for himself.

“Thanks,” Buffy said, opening the bottle and taking a drink as Spike set the microwave and stuffed the blood inside.

“Welcome,” Spike replied, sticking his hands in his pocket before changing his mind and flinging off his coat, tossing it on the back of his recliner.

They stood in uncomfortable silence until the microwave beeped. Spike grabbed his blood and took a slug. Buffy sipped her cola for a minute before looking over to Spike.

“What do you think it is?”

“What now?”

Buffy gestured between them. “There’s got to be something, right?”

“Why?”

“We hate each other! We don’t hang out and- and drink together.”

“I don’t hate you.” Spike said, setting down his blood and advancing on Buffy. “And I don’t think you hate me. And you definitely don’t hate this.” Spike slid his arms around Buffy’s waist, and she clumsily set her drink down before leaning into him, sighing in contentment.

They held each other for a few minutes before reluctantly drawing away.

“We should go. Giles said I should try to bring you, but if you don’t want to-”

“Let’s go,” Spike briskly strode over to his chair and swung his coat over his shoulders.

They exited the crypt together and walked quickly to Giles’ condo.

When they arrived, they found the watcher sitting at his table with only one old book in front of him along with a couple of watchers’ diaries.

“Buffy, Spike,” He greeted them. “Do sit down.”

“What’s going on?” Buffy asked, her nerves on high alert at the look on Giles’ face. Neither she nor Spike sat.

“Buffy, do you know what a claim is?”

“Sure.” Buffy shrugged. “Some vampire calling-dibs-on-each-other thing. So?” She glanced at Spike, who was wincing at her description.

“I think… well... has Spike ever drunk you blood?”

Buffy and Spike exchanged guilty glances.

“Good lord,” Giles got to his feet and disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a bottle of scotch and a glass.

“It wasn’t a big deal! It was at Thanksgiving and Spike was starving and I was already bleeding so…” Buffy shrugged. Spike was uncharacteristically quiet.

“Did he say anything… possessive about you?”

“No, nothing! He didn’t say anything! Just took the blood and left!”

Giles looked over at Spike accusingly and Spike raised his hands in surrender. “Not a word. Cross my heart.”

“Have there been any other times? Think of any time either of you have drawn the others’ blood,” Giles pressed.

“There hasn’t-” Buffy started but Spike interrupted her.

“Fuck!”

“What?”

“No, no, no.” Spike started pacing, running shaking hands through his hair. “The house! Buffy, at the frat house-“

“You never bit me! Not hard, anyway,” Buffy amended, blushing furiously and staring at the floor. Giles poured another shot.

“Not me, you silly bint. You! _You_ scratched _me_ , remember? The first time. After that I said since you drew blood…”

“I said no. And I’m not a bint! You never-”

“But _you_ did!” Spike shouted. “You scratched me up, then said all this gooey stuff about how great it was, an’ you said ‘mine!’”

“I did?” Buffy asked faintly, concentrating hard on replaying the scene. It’s not like she’d never thought about that night before, because she did, regularly. She just didn’t tend to think about what they said to each other. “I did.”

“You bloody well claimed me, and I agreed. Jesus,” Spike grabbed the bottle of scotch from Giles and gulped some down. Giles didn’t even protest.

“But I’m not a vampire! How could I have…?”

Spike shook his head, dropping the bottle back on table before flopping onto the couch, hands covering his face.

“You don’t have to be a vampire to participate in a claim,” Giles said quietly. “There are a few cases where a vampire wished to protect a human so they placed them under a one-way claim. I-I-I couldn’t find any record of a human doing it to a vampire, b-but there’s really no reason why that couldn’t happen.”

“What does this mean? Am I going to like, fall in love with Spike or something? Is it going to be like the frat house all over again?”

“No!” Spike suddenly sat up and started pacing. “One way claims are about loyalty, protection. You want to protect me,” the corner of his mouth twitched up and both he and Buffy remembered how angry she had been with that vampire who had landed a hit on Spike. “I want to take care of and… obey you.” He grimaced. “We will want to be close to each other, too. That’s all.”

“Oh.” Buffy nibbled her lip for a second. “That’s not so bad, right?” she glanced a Giles for confirmation.

“I have no idea,” he muttered. “I’m sure Spike knows more about this business than me. The literature says there has to be real intent behind the words, and very specific words at that, but clearly they were mistaken. Watchers have never been terribly interested in the details of vampire’s inter-personal relationships, I’m afraid.”

“Okay. But there must be a way to break it, right?” Buffy looked from Giles to Spike. “Right?!”

“Not that I’m aware of,” Giles said at the same time as Spike’s vehement “No.”

“But Anya said something about challenging a claim. Could we do that?”

Spike laughed hollowly and flopped back on the couch. “’Fraid not. The challenger would have to be stronger than you, for one thing. And I would have to agree to it, for another.”

“But if we could find Drusilla-”

Spike jumped back up “Don’t!”

“What?”

“Just don’t. Don’t bring her up.”

“But don’t you want to be back with her? I mean, I know I challenged her claim on you but I didn’t mean to and there has to be some way to let her-”

“Dru doesn’t want me!” Spike cried. “She never did. You are the only one who has _ever_ even _tried_ to claim me, alright? I asked her, begged her- even tried to trick her and it never bloody worked. And now you,” he gestured between them helplessly. Buffy looked at him with such sympathy that he suddenly couldn’t stand it. Spike turned and fled, running as soon as he was outside.

This couldn’t be happening. There’s no way that after wanting it for so many years that he finally had it with Buffy of all people. Sure, he didn’t hate her anymore. She was good for a tussle, a shag. Maybe the occasional conversation. But he wasn’t hers. Didn’t want to- couldn’t- belong to her.

And he was stuck. There was no way out of this. He roared in frustration, pausing to kick and punch at a tree for a few moments before speeding off.

When Buffy found him he was beating the snot out of a mucus demon, which was sending globs of slime in all directions but he didn’t seem to care. Buffy stood quietly at a safe distance and watched. She was impressed that Spike had found anything to hit and was initially a little envious. A glob of snot flew past her shoulder and she backed out of the splash zone to wait for him to finish.

“Slayer,” he said, without turning around.

“Spike.” Buffy started forwards, stopping just short. “You need a shower.”

“Yeah,” He agreed and started walking.

“You have one at your place?”

“In a manner of speaking.” As they walked Spike worked to brush the worst of the slime off his coat, mumbling and cursing.

Buffy giggled suddenly, remembering how at the beginning of the semester she had thought about taking Spike’s coat to the dry cleaner.

“What’s so funny?” Spike asked grumpily.

“Nothing,” Buffy said, trying unsuccessfully to supress her laughter.

“Knock it off, unless you want me to share.”

“No!” Buffy leapt away from Spike and took off running between the head stones, disgruntled vampire hot on her heels. She crashed into Spike’s crypt with him right behind her. He slammed and they squared off in the almost total darkness, one flickering candle providing the only illumination. The others that he had lit earlier that evening had gone out.

“This isn’t fair,” Buffy whined. “I can’t see and you can.”

“None of this is fair, luv.” Buffy heard rustling clothing and she retreated, back coming into contact with the wall.

It was quiet for a moment, then more rustling. Spike was coming towards her and she could see his pale skin shining through the darkness in the crypt.

“What’re you doing?” She breathed, afraid to move. She hoped- well, she didn’t know what she was hoping for. She wished there was more light.

“I’m having a shower,” He shoved a slab of stone aside and dropped through a hole in the floor of his crypt. Buffy stared after him but didn’t follow. If it was dark in the crypt is was completely black in the basement. She would be completely blind and in unfamiliar territory. She decided to stay upstairs and wandered around, rifling through Spike’s knick-knacks until she found a barbecue lighter. She located a few candles that weren’t completely burned down and lit those.

Buffy replaced the lighter and walked over to the stone coffin she had been perching on before. Her cola was still there so she picked it up and had a sip. It was warm and partly flat, but it gave her something to do.

The water sounds stopped and she heard Spike moving around downstairs, then a crash.

“Bring down a light, would you Slayer?” Spiked called up.

Buffy picked up one of the few candles that was in a holder and cautiously approached the hole. She peered in, spied the ladder and quickly climbed down. Spike was sitting naked on a giant, luxurious bed, one foot balanced on his knee as he peered at his toes.

“Bring it here,” Spike motioned, squinting at his foot.

Not knowing what else to do Buffy came over and looked down at his foot too.

“Doesn’t look broken.”

“Hardly bruised,” Spike agreed, placing his foot on the floor.

Buffy tried to ignore Spike and his nakedness, but her eyes kept gliding over his chest. She set the light down on the bedside table, and turned to face Spike. Buffy’s hands followed the same path as her eyes and she found two tiny, crescent scars. When she brushed her fingertips over them he shivered.

“Are these from…?”

“The Claim.” Spike sighed. “Yeah, not a lot else will scar a vampire.”

Buffy looked up at his face and grazed his right eyebrow with her thumb.

“Magic sword,” He murmured.

“Mmm,” Buffy sighed, leaning down to kiss the scar. She dropped to her knees to kiss the claim scars, too.

Spike’s hands found their way to Buffy’s shoulders, where he gripped her tight and drew her back to her feet. This created a small distance between them that Buffy was not fond of so she straddled his lap and found his lips with hers. She kissed him desperately, letting all her frustration (sexual and otherwise) flow out of her. Buffy gripped Spike’s face between her hands and focussed on the feeling of his cool skin against hers. Soon she found herself out of breath and grinding against him.

Buffy released Spike’s mouth and while she gasped for breath shoved him onto his back. This was familiar. This was good. She could do this instead of think. She leaned down, fastening her mouth to Spike’s neck in a bite that would be harsh for a human but hardly counted as foreplay to a kinky vampire.

“Stop.”

It was whispered so quietly, so breathily, Buffy wasn’t sure if she even heard it.

“Stop!” Buffy found herself on her back and Spike was up and pacing. He grabbed a pair of jeans and was yanking them over his legs by the time Buffy was able to sit up and focus on what had just happened.

“What’s wrong?” Buffy demanded.

“I’m not doing this again.”

“Why not!?”

“I’m tired of magic. I’m tired of- look, luv, if we’re going to do this,” He paused, his voice deepening, “And I want to do this. But if we do this I want it to just be you an’ me, no witches, ghosts or Claims. I don’t want you blaming something else for what you do.”

“I-”

“The way I see it, you did choose me. Each time. The spell only said we had to get married. You know that marrying for love is a pretty recent invention, yeah? And the party? You could have had any bloke there, but you chose me. You _Claimed_ me. Whether you want me or not, I’m here. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you- let you…” He trailed off and turned his back to her. _Let her what?_ He asked himself. _I can’t say no to her. Can’t deny her anything._

“Spike, I’m sorry.”

He stilled, but refused to look at her.

“I’m sorry.” Buffy came to stand behind him, cautiously wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her cheek against his back. “I never meant to do this to you. I still don’t totally get what _this_ is, but… I don’t want to hurt you. Not like this.”

His own words echoed back to him gripped his heart like a vise. He fought down a sob and just leaned back into her warmth.

“Can we just sit? Please? Maybe talk?”

Spike nodded, not trusting his voice. Buffy took his hand and lead him to the bed, where they crawled in together. Buffy snuggled under the blankets and Spike couldn’t help but smile at how cute she looked, all wrapped up like a yummy burrito. He joined her under the covers and they instinctively wrapped themselves around each other.

“It’s going to be okay,” Buffy said softly, combing her fingers through his half-dry hair. It felt kind of nice now that there was no gel in it. Kind of coarse from all the bleach, but nice. After a few minutes his face relaxed and Buffy allowed her hands to drift. She traced his brows and cheeks, his neck and collar bones.

She found herself tracing the claim scars again. “You didn’t notice these before?”

“No reflection.” Spike shrugged one shoulder. “And this may come as a surprise to you, but I don’t spend much time feeling myself up.”

“But it’s so fun,” Buffy giggled. What was it about Spike that released her inhibitions? Was it a Claim thing, or just a Spike thing? Buffy’s fingers danced around the outline of Spike’s pec and toyed with his nipple briefly before returning to the scars. Hard to believe that such tiny marks were causing so much trouble. “Tell me more about Claims?”

“Not much more to tell, pet. Hardly anyone does mutual Claims. Forever seems a lot less romantic when you literally live forever,” Spike smiled crookedly.

Buffy thought of her parents- they had, at one point, promised to love each other forever. “But a one-way Claim is forever too.”

“Sure, but it’s less intense than a mutual one. If we really wanted to we could avoid each other as long as we stay in the same general area.”

“I don’t want to stay away from you.” Buffy confessed.

“You don’t have to.” Spike hugged her tighter and Buffy nestled her face against his chest, warm breath tickling his skin.

“I know. But… don’t be mad, but how much of my-my feelings for you is the claim?”

Spike went still, a look of pain flashed across his face before he composed himself. “Dunno.”

“I mean,” Buffy scrambled, “Being close to someone in a geographical sense is different from this,” She squeezed his shoulder. “Right?”

Spike shrugged again.

“What if…” Buffy paused, gathering her courage. She raised her head so she could look into Spike’s eyes. “What if I promise not to blame the Claim?”

A soft smile spread across Spike’s face. He shifted his head and placed a tender kiss on Buffy’s forehead. “Nothing would make me happier.”

“Okay,” Buffy breathed. “Okay, I promise.” A strange warmth spread through her. She was happy. She was happy because she had made Spike happy. She was determined to keep her promise and not attribute her feelings to the Claim, but she didn’t know what else it could be. Whatever it was, it felt good and Buffy wanted to keep feeling it.


	8. Interlude (Images)

  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. Interlude (text)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who can't/doesn't want to read the image version
> 
> [Bold Square brackets] indicate notes added by Buffy in margins or between lines.
> 
> #Hashtags and underline# indicates notes that Riley has added.

Names and identifying information has been redacted for privacy ~~and to~~ ~~avoid exposing government secrets.~~

[ **Bold Square brackets** ] indicate notes added by Buffy in margins or between lines.

#Hashtags and underline# indicates notes that Riley has added.

C-

_Entry #1 (The Freshman)_

_I’m going to pick my roommate. She’s sooooo annoying with the music and the lip smacking. I think I found one of her toenails on my bed, too. Ewww._ #I know this is a journal, but since it’s for class you should still try to use more formal language#

_Entry #2 (Living Conditions)_

_Well, roommate went home, so I guess she’s out. Now what?_

_Entry #3_

_I never thought I’d be so annoyed at not being annoyed. Well, look on the bright side XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_ #It’s good to look on the bright side#

_Entry #4 (Harsh Light of Day)_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX is back! I can totally do her… er, use her… study her? She was almost as annoying as XXXXX but even as a_ ~~_vamp_ ~~ _adult, she’s harmless. Well, I guess not totally harmless, but I can handle her._

_Entry #5_

_XXXXX_ _**[My subject is]** _ _here. With XXXXXXX somehow? I mean, XXXXXXXX was a crazy hoe-bag, but I still thought he had better taste than that._ #This isn’t appropriate language in an academic context#

_XXXXX_ _ **[my subject]**_ _is pretty obnoxious, and_ _Willow_ _was talking about using him as her subject since she doesn’t live with her old roommate anymore. If Ms. Brainy-Pants thinks it’s a good idea then maybe it is._ #You should also have redacted Willow’s name as well. She’s still entitled to her privacy, even if she is taking the class# _Professor Walsh never said we each had to have our own person, subject, whatever._ _#It’s true#_ _The only issue with that brilliant plan is he’s a_ ~~ _psycho killer_~~ _bad guy. Very bad guy. How can you be nice to someone like that? I can take him, most of the time, but_ _Willow_ _sure can’t._ #What makes him so bad?#

 _On the other hand, he might be less suspicious if both of us start being nicer to him. Either that or twice as suspicious. I mean,_ _Willow_ _, sure, she’s nice to everyone so why not him. But me? Plus I would actually have to spend time with him to be nice to him, and I don’t want to. Spend time with him, that is. Don’t want to be nice to him, either, but also don’t want to fail psych._ #Good Call#

_I guess I could use XXXXX. But then I’d have to see his stupid face. And then I would punch his face. Or cry. Or something equally stupid. Stupid XXXXX and his stupid face. Why does he have to put his stupid face all over every stupid bimbo on campus? Wait, does this make me a stupid Bimbo? Also, this isn’t supposed to be a personal diary, oops._ #Honesty with yourself is good, but again, this language is inappropriate#

_Entry #6 (After Gem of Amara fight)_

_I am going to_ ~~ _kill_~~ _kick out XXXXX_ _ **[my subject].**_ _I don’t care if I fail Psych._ _Willow_ _will understand if her subject is with the gone. At least I got his stupid ring off of him._ #???#

 _I get that we’re mortal enemies and all, but does he have to be so mean? How am I supposed to be nice to someone who says stuff like that about me? He was right, though. XXXXX always seems to be right about these things._ #Why do you think that is? Is this why he’s so “dangerous”?#

_Entry #7 (Fear itself)_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_Entry #8 (Beer Bad)_

_I’m never drinking again. Also, can my subject just be all men?_ #No#

_Entry #9 (Wild at Heart)_

_All men, especially XX? I guess it’s nice to know I’m not the only ho-bag around here, but his poop-headedness is almost equal to XXXXX I know XX had his reasons, but I’m fed up with men leaving, especially when it’s for “our own good.” Maybe they should consult the person they’re leaving first. Ever think of that? No, of course not. Because men suck._ #I’m sorry you’ve been hurt before, but what does this have to do with your Subject?#

_Entry #10 (The Initiative)_

_Hahahahahaha XXXXX … XXXXX can’t XXXX_ _ **[hurt anyone]!**_ #Why not? Why is this funny?# _Ahaha. What’s he going to do now? He’s not even dangerous anymore. Guess I can afford to be nice to him. Guess that means I shouldn’t laugh at him. When he can hear me. Anymore. Ha. I have some catching up to do- even when_ _Willow_ _thought XXXXX_ _ **[my subject]**_ _was going to_ ~~ _kill_~~ _hurt her, she was still nice to him._

_Entry #11 (Something Blue)_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_Entry #12_

_XXXXX_ _ **[my subject]**_ _is soooooo handsome and strong and sweet. He was so nervous when he asked, but of course I said yes!_ _I can’t believe I waited this long to find out what his tongue can do! That preview on Thanksgiving was nothing compared to this. This experiment is really great, I never realized how much I loved him until I finally gave him a chance. I’m so happy I could die!_ #What changed?#

_Entry #13_

_I’m so disgusted I could die._ _Willow_ ~~_cast a spell_~~ _got us all drunk and I was all in love with XXXXX_ _ **[my subject].**_ _Ugh. And you know what the worst part was? Now that I’ve seen how much of a hottie XXXXX_ _ **[my subject]**_ _is I can’t unsee it. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I need to start dating again because clearly I need some kind of outlet if I liked kissing XXXXX [my subject]. _#I’m going to pretend I didn’t see two separate entries about underage drinking#

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_Entry #14_

_I just had a wiggy thought._ _Willow_ _told us to get married, but she never said anything about being in love or kissing or whatever. We could have been one of those bitter couples who don’t actually like each other but got married anyway, you know, like_ _Xander’s_ _parents?_ #Why would you get married just because Willow said so?# _So why were we all ga-ga over each other?_ _Xander_ _wasn’t XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
XXXXXXXXX_ _ **[sticking to the fridge],**_ #???# _even though that’s what_ _Willow_ _was talking about when she said he was a XXXXX magnet._

_I just wish I could stop thinking about it. This whole being nice to him thing must be messing with my head._ #Interesting that you think liking someone means there’s something wrong with your “head.” Maybe your subject isn’t as bad as you thought?#

_Entry #15 (Hush)_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Had a kissing dream about XXXXX_ _**[my subject]** _ _too, which was way more fun. Gross_ _**. [I am only including this because dreams have like, psychedelical implications or something]** _ _._ #I think you mean psychological#

_Giles kicked XXXXX_ _ **[my subject]**_ _out of his place and told XXXXXX it was his turn._ _Willow_ _told me she thought we should take XXXXX_ _ **[my subject]**_ _but keeping him in our dorm on a women only floor would be a problem. Plus, ew. It’s bad enough I keep thinking about him and his stupid lips. I don’t wanna see them and hear what they have to say. I also don’t have enough space to keep XXXXX_ _ **[smoothies]**_ _in_ _my fridge._ #Good call#

_Entry #16_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I’m going to have to burn like, half of this journal before I hand it in. Oops._ #???#

_Entry #17 (Doomed/A New man)_

_That didn’t last long- XXXXX_ _**[my subject]** _ _and XXXXXX, that is._ #???# _Now that_ _XXXXX_ _**[my subject]** _ _can XXXXXXXXX_ _**[get a job]** _ _he left and seems to be feeling better. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_Is it bad that I’m comparing XXXXX to XXXXX_ _**[my subject]?** _ _And that in some ways I like XXXXX_ _**[my subject]** _ _better? XXXXX_ _**[my subject]** _ _did help XXXXX and even though he got paid, that’s not something he would have done before_ _.  _ #You think your subject has become nicer since you’ve been nicer to him?# _XXXXX_ _**[my subject]** _ _is also stronger and more of a challenge. He’s also a XXXXXX creep. But a good kisser. Gross. Why can’t I like normal guys? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_ #What is so abnormal about your subject? What makes him a “creep”? And what makes him better than this other person?#

_Entry #18 (The I in Team)_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_Entry #19 [Goodbye Iowa]_

_I guess I don’t need to keep a journal anymore now that Walsh is dead. Does that mean I don’t get credit for this class? Cuz that’s not fair. It’s not my fault she XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_ _**[died so young and innocently]** _

_Entry #20 [This Year’s Girl]_

_What did XXXXX_ _**[** _ ~~_**my evil twin** _ ~~ _**that person who looked so much like me]** _ _say to XXXXX_ _**my subject]** _ _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX?!? He keeps looking at me weird. He does know that wasn’t me, right?_ #???#

_Entry #21 (Superstar)_

_Ok, this is getting really, really not ok. Even when I thought XXXXXXXXX was like, Wonder Boy Supreme, I still thought XXXXX [my subject] was kinda cute. Oh, and I do have to keep this XXXXXXXjournal. Riley is taking over for Maggie. I should really just start over. I’m going to have to go through and cross out a ton of this anyway,_ _#I’ll say#_ _and I don’t want to keep being nice to XXXXX_ _ **[my subject]**_ _if it’s going to make me like… like him, you know? And it’s not like I’m even being that nice! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I don’t punch him as much as I want to. But in what world does that count as being nice?_ #Does he see it as being nice?#

_I asked_ _ Willow _ _if I could still pass this class if I don’t hand in the journal. She didn’t say anything, but I got the feeling she wasn’t even sure if I’d pass this class no matter what I did XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. So I guess keep plugging away and just cross out the worst bits before I hand it in. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_Entry #22: [The Yoko Factor]_

_Last night was such a disaster - so much for a quick XXXXX_ _**[walk]** _ _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_ _**[I tripped and scraped my knee.]** _ _XXXXX showed up (with XXXXX, for some reason) but too late to actually help with anything. Haven’t seen XXXXX_ _**[my subject].** _ _Want to see XXXXX_ _**[my subject].** _ _Want to XXXXX_ _**[punch my subject].** _ _I think it’s time to call in the tweed reinforcements on this one._ #???#  _There’s something weird going on and it’s not going away. Maybe I’ll talk to XXXXX at the XXXXXXX meeting tonight. I wish XXXX could just back off XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_Entry #23 [post Restless]_

_Save everyone from XXXXXXXXXX_ _**[bad shrimp]** _ _,XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_ _**[get a stomach ache]** _ _. How is that fair?_

_I think this is my last entry ‘cuz I have to hand this in soon. My conclusion: I like XXXXX_ _**[my subject].** _ _There, I said it. I like him. I liked that he was leaning against my leg last night, and I really like that he was still there this morning. I liked kissing him, I liked having XXX_ _**[tea]** _ _with him. I like patrolling with him and talking to him and I freaking like Spike. I’d better pass this stupid class because now I have to live in a world where I actually want to see and interact with a XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX creep._

_Bloody Hell._

#Your subject was Spike?!? WE NEED TO TALK!#


End file.
